Hello and good morning world wide web.
Warning – Long Post Ahead! Proceed with caution!
Well I’m writing to you from the comfort of my bed and tons of blankets. It’s about early o’clock and what am I doing up? I have the slightest clue. I couldn’t sleep so I had the bright idea to power up the laptop & blog. Forgive me for not writing for ten months. Saying I’ve been busy is an understatement.
Let’s see according to a reliable source aka Urban Dictionary
Dirty Thirty – single female and biological clock ticking. (that’s just the gist of it)
Anyways guess who’s 30 today? **thumbs pointing to myself** THIS GAL! Dirty Thirty, um how about no! So I”ve been getting text messages and questions along the lines, “OMG So you’re turning 30…any plans? Vegas?” Yeah, NO! My plans today are to be with my family, to go to church and kill it teaching my young women because who doesn’t like teaching on their birthday, right? (sarcastic smile) I’m kidding! I really want to get my life together. Yes, even at 30 I’m still working on this. Kudos to you if you’ve got yours together. I envy you.
So please humor me and reflect with me on these past 30 years. Am I where I wanted to be? Not quite, but I am where I need to be. Oh the dreams a young naive Theresa wanted at 30 is nothing compared to reality. But it’s not bad at all. Reality that is. I love my life. I mean give or take a few days where I just want to wave my white flag. But that’s life. I really am thankful for all the trials as I sit here (super bright screen in a dark room) reflecting on so many lessons learned from these moments where I thought to myself, “God must really think I can handle this and more.” When I was in high school I thought I’d be a career driven woman and then finally settling down at 30.
Roaring Twenties, literally!
I had my daughter at 20. My husband and I eloped a week before our daughter was due. (Kids don’t try this at home). Would I change anything? Maybe the fact that we got at least one photo of us on our “actual” wedding day. But I was 10 months pregnant (exaggerating just a bit) and I’m sure our camera pixels then would be shamed by today’s camera photo qualities. I mean you can literally zoom in on someone who is in your photo from a mile away. (I haven’t tried this because that would be totally weird, right?!) But anyways I started my family 10 years early. Do I regret it? Not one bit. My daughter has been the greatest blessing in my life. She’s my biggest cheerleader even when I really feel like I fumbled the pass X amount of times at being a mom. My daughter has helped me be a better woman, try my best to raise an amazing woman in these times, push myself to try everything. So being a young mom takes strength, LOTS of it. We are too young to have it together but still have to because we have this little human depending on us for everything. So I give to all my moms out there no matter what stage you are at becoming a mom. We rock! I was a young mom and I was married. I literally had no clue what it was like to be married. They don’t teach you this stuff in school. I mean they teach you about babies and that egg project where you don’t smash your egg for a certain amount of days. But marriage, nope! (The movies are all facades too! But you couldn’t tell this hopeless romantic anything.) So here I was trying to take care of a baby, while making sure I don’t lack in my marriage. I did not want to be another stereotype. I know now that I shouldn’t have cared about that stuff but I cannot stand the, “I told you so” type of people. Thinking back to our first two years of marriage. It was hard. Marriage is hard. To those that have the perfect marriage, please do share. I’d love to know how you make it work. There are days where I want to “return to sender” my husband. I love him with everything in my being but I cannot be the only woman who sometimes wants to do this. If I am, it’s all good. I’ll be the 1 in something billion of women. My twenties I grew up a lot. Literally, I started my twenties thinking everything was going to be all honky dory but that wasn’t even close. But hey I am pretty darn proud of myself. In my twenties, I quit a steady paying job to embark on the troubled waters of getting a higher education aka college. Mom, Wife, Student. I graduated with my Associates of Science in Biological Science. Who would have thought?! If you told the high school senior me, that I’d graduate college at 28 I wouldn’t believe you. My plans were to graduate before 25. lol. Yeah ok! I paid off this dumb student loan. Yeah student loan for a field I am no longer in. Go figure, right?! My family & I got sealed for eternity in the Newport Beach Temple. Best day ever! Our eternal wedding date. My marriage just like any other has grown with lots of tending to. Like a lot. We aren’t perfect. Some days I irritate my husband and vice versa. Some days I just want to be with him all day. Like I don’t want him to go to work just so I could be with him. hahaha. But like he always tells me, “Love don’t pay the bills lady!” That is true! I mean if you over think this statement love sorta does but trust me lets just not do that. So my Roaring Twenties? I grew. I learned a lot about me. I learned my limits. I learned to say no. That is powerful, saying NO. People tend to make you feel bad for saying No, but it’s healthy. Oh trust me and don’t lose sleep over it. I learned that it’s ok to fall, I just need to pick myself up and keep going. I lost a lot of friends. I decided I like my circle small. I found that my love for planners is totally ok and that there are more women that have that same love. (Screw you fellow classmates for thinking I was weird with my different highlighters and pens. hahahahaha.) I am a small business owner. So be sure to support small businesses. Trust me, we are raising a family on this dream! I started having more faith in God’s Plan. Oh to believe is one thing but to have faith is another. It’s like that whole trust fall thing, where you’re like I believe you’re behind me but I gotta have faith you’ll catch me. In case you needed a mental picture. My twenties have shown me the things I still need to work on but also the things that I have overcome. My roaring twenties were awesome, I learned about me. I learned to love myself. I learned to believe and have faith. I learned that things will get better. They always do, if you allow them to and work your tail off!
Plans – rule the world. hahaha. Not really that’s a lot of stress and I love my hair. But my plans aren’t set in stone because if you know God like I do, well you know sometimes things don’t always go according to planned. So let’s say I have a “GOAL LIST” for my thirties. Here is to being thirty and I keep praying for more patience, guidance, strength, good health, and at least one application to be pulled.
If I could give you a cookie for reading all the way to the end, I would!
Until next post, be kind and work hard!